Stop Letting Others Answer for You!

Do you know what it feels like when you ask someone a question such as “how are you?” and someone else answers for them?  They don’t just answer one question.  They take over answering for someone else most of the time.  Or maybe you know someone who answers for YOU! This ‘know it all’ approach  is disempowering and disrespectful.

So how can you respond? What can you say without being confrontational or causing tension?  Your own will and self-esteem need to be healthy and balanced to be able to take compassionate action.  It is always better to respond with love and confront the issue than repress feelings only later to have a reactive retaliation.  When you don’t say anything you have become passive, allowing someone else to ‘have power over you’.

When a person answers for another person, they are unknowingly saying that person is unable to speak for themselves. They are making themselves the centre of attention.   When an adult repeatedly answers for a child it does not encourage balanced self-esteem.   Equally when an adult doesn’t allow an elder to answer it is demeaning and disempowering.  We must all learn to connect with each other, to listen and allow each individual to use their own voice, to express their feelings, wants and desires, which may be quite different from what we thought they would be.  Having a conversation that is healthy and balanced, allows each person in the conversation to be relating to themselves and each other.

Take a stand on owning your personal power by not allowing others to speak for you (unless you have asked them to), by encouraging children and youth to develop self-esteem,  and by practicing patience with everyone.   

Standing Up for Yourself

Here are a few suggestions you could use to stand up for yourself:

• I noticed you answered for me, but really, I’ve got this.  I can answer  or speak for myself.
• I noticed you answered for ……  It is important to me to have this conversation with……   Kindly let them speak for themselves.  

Check in with yourself and take note if you are the one answering for others, and pause long enough for you to find inner peace and self-empowerment through conscious choice. If someone is bringing awareness to your own pattern of ‘answering for’ then recognize you are healing your own need to be heard and are taking responsibility for others.  Encourage yourself to practice patience and encourage others to grow their own self esteem.

Finding the courage to look within, to realize patterns of limitation exist within yourself is supported with meditation classes where a teacher guides you to see the parts of your self that are ready to be transformed.  Meditating alone allows you to recharge your energy, to relax, and prepare for your day.

Regina Kaiser

Onlinemeditationclasses.veracis.ca