Anger & Calm cannot Exist at the same Time
We all experience anger and the effects of anger at some point in our lives. When was the last time you were frustrated or angry because someone cut you off driving, or did something that annoyed you. This is highlighting your own anger, not theirs, and the anger you are experiencing was already there inside you. It was seeking a way out.
What you do with the emotion anger is what makes the difference. Contrary to what most people think, anger is not a ‘bad’ emotion. Anger is an emotion that can be used inappropriately or appropriately. Anger is a sign you are covering something up. You may be fearful, overwhelmed, hurt, or sad.
Anger is the emotion that helps us understand we are unhappy about something. Anger is the emotion we use to divert ourselves from feeling repressed painful emotions. As long as we lash out and do not take the time to experience the emotions underneath, the cause of our anger, then we continue to push the pain further down. We need to dig deep to uncover the cause of our pain.
Learning to give your anger space to flow respectfully, means identifying the emotion, feeling it, and accessing the emotions buried underneath. It may be as easy as acknowledging to yourself ” I am feeling angry right now and my heart feels tight”. This first step empowers us to make changes in manageable steps. Fear, doubt, uncertainty, and our need to control get in the way.
Calm is experienced as peaceful, quiet, with no anger, anxiety or inner noise. We cannot be calm and angry at the same time.
“This morning I felt anger and I expressed it 3 min. after I felt it! One small step for me one giant step for humanity!!!!! ( or something like that)
Anyway, little by little this week I am recognizing annoyance and deep seated anger. At first I said to my husband,”you pissed me off right now” then I said,” no I am pissed off right now and it has nothing to do with you and here is why……. We had a good laugh and it felt so freeing and liberating, it changed something inside of me in that one small little release.
Thank you so much for teaching these lessons Regina. They really work. Have a great day. “N.
